Neurodivergence Through the Lifespan: From Childhood to Adulthood and Beyond

Neurodivergence in Childhood

Neurodivergence in childhood is often overlooked unless it presents in the most extreme forms, such as nonverbal autism or highly disruptive ADHD. Many neurodivergent babies may cry less, laugh more, or show differences in eye contact, which can initially seem like a blessing to new parents. However, these early signs can later manifest as difficulty understanding social expectations, such as laughing at inappropriate times or avoiding eye contact with authority figures.

Neurodivergent children may be perceived as "old souls," engaging in advanced conversations about topics like technology, science, or politics, far beyond the interests of their neurotypical peers. Some may excel in school, while others struggle with subjects that don't align with their special interests. Friendships at this stage may develop naturally, especially with other neurodivergent children, but these friendships can come with unique challenges, and parents may not always approve of these social connections.

The Teenage Years: The Shift in Social Dynamics

As puberty begins, social in-groups become more pronounced, and neurodivergent individuals often find themselves falling behind in social development compared to their peers. They may become increasingly aware of being "different," leading to self-isolation and the loss of friendships that once seemed stable.

During the later teen years, neurodivergent individuals may react to these social shifts in different ways. Some engage in risky behaviors, seeking adrenaline-fueled experiences or experimenting with substances. Others may retreat further into solitude, feeling pressure to maintain a "good kid" image and avoiding social activities altogether.

Early Adulthood: Freedom and Responsibility

Early adulthood brings newfound freedoms and responsibilities that can be both exciting and overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals. Many young adults with ADHD and autism begin seeking formal diagnoses at this stage, often surprising families who may have been unaware or in denial about their neurodivergence.

This period is also when early masking begins to crack. Cognitive dissonance between societal expectations and personal inclinations can lead to emotional distress, especially when individuals realize their long-term goals may not align with what they were conditioned to pursue. Navigating career paths, higher education, and independent living can be particularly challenging without proper support systems.

Career and Long-Term Success

Like their neurotypical peers, neurodivergent individuals enter various fields, including medicine, law, technology, law enforcement, and creative industries. However, the proportion of neurodivergents advancing into high-earning or leadership positions is significantly lower.

In the United States, up to 85% of adults with autism are unemployed, highlighting significant challenges in securing employment. Similarly, individuals with ADHD are 30% more likely to experience chronic employment issues compared to those without the condition.

The 20s are a crucial time for neurodivergent individuals to receive support in integrating their special interests into society in a way that is sustainable and financially rewarding. Without such support, many struggle with career progression, leading to underemployment or job dissatisfaction.

Middle Age and the Consequences of Long-Term Masking

As neurodivergent individuals enter their 40s and 50s, survivorship bias begins to emerge. Many who have lacked support systems or failed to fit within society's rigid frameworks face severe consequences, such as homelessness, incarceration, severe mental illness, or early mortality.

Recent studies indicate that individuals diagnosed with ADHD may experience a reduction in life expectancy by approximately 6.8 years for men and 8.6 years for women.

Those who manage to navigate these challenges tend to fall into two stereotypes: the eccentric expert with deep niche knowledge or the reclusive hermit. While some maintain fulfilling family lives and careers, others succumb to long-term burnout, which becomes increasingly difficult to recover from at this stage.

Neurodivergence in Senior Years

Neurodivergent senior citizens often fall into two prevailing stereotypes: the esteemed expert with vast, arcane knowledge or the misunderstood recluse. Some may be known for their lifelong passion projects, such as collecting thousands of bottle caps over decades, while others are labeled as "strange" or "unapproachable" by their communities.

A Life of Possibilities

Having ADHD or autism does not dictate a fixed destiny. While the risks of negative life experiences are significantly higher for neurodivergent individuals, it is entirely possible to live a happy, fulfilling life with the right support systems in place. Acknowledging the unique challenges at each stage of life can lead to better accommodations, increased understanding, and ultimately, a more inclusive society that allows neurodivergent individuals to thrive.