How Neurotypical People Can Be Better Allies to Neurodivergent Individuals

1. Challenge Stereotypes and Misconceptions

Many people assume that all autistic and ADHD individuals behave the same way, but neurodivergent experiences are diverse. Individuals with both autism and ADHD (AuDHD) may display a mix of characteristics or entirely unique traits. The best way to support neurodivergent individuals is to challenge societal norms and question why certain expectations exist in the first place.

Avoid assuming that all neurodivergent individuals have the same traits or abilities.
Stop using dismissive language like “Everyone’s a little ADHD/autistic” or “You don’t look autistic.”
Embrace the idea that social norms can be questioned and re-evaluated for inclusivity.

2. Respect Communication Differences

Neurodivergent individuals often have different communication styles. Some may take longer to process and respond, while others might struggle with eye contact or prefer direct conversations. Accepting these differences fosters an environment where neurodivergent people feel comfortable being themselves.

Be patient if someone needs extra time to process information or struggles with verbal communication.
Avoid pressuring individuals to conform to neurotypical expectations, such as maintaining eye contact.
Understand that ADHD individuals may interrupt, get distracted, or hyperfocus—it’s not personal.

3. Support Sensory and Environmental Needs

Many neurodivergent individuals experience sensory sensitivities that impact their daily lives. Loud noises, bright lights, or certain textures can be overwhelming. Making small adjustments can create a more inclusive environment.

Reduce background noise when possible in conversations or shared spaces.
Recognize that sensory sensitivities are legitimate challenges, not preferences.
Be flexible with accommodations like fidget tools, noise-canceling headphones, or alternative seating arrangements.

4. Be Flexible with Social Norms

Socializing can look different for neurodivergent individuals. Some may prefer deep, one-on-one conversations instead of large group events, while others may struggle to initiate social plans but still appreciate invitations.

Accept that neurodivergent people may engage in social interactions differently.
Don't assume disinterest if someone doesn’t initiate plans; reaching out makes a difference.
Recognize that direct communication is often preferred, while subtle social cues may be difficult to interpret.

5. Acknowledge Executive Dysfunction Challenges

Executive dysfunction makes tasks like time management, prioritization, and organization difficult. This isn’t due to laziness but rather differences in cognitive functioning. Understanding these challenges can help reduce stigma and foster better collaboration.

Be patient if someone struggles with deadlines or task completion.
Offer structured support, such as reminders or breaking tasks into manageable steps.
Be open to alternative work styles and organizational methods that better suit neurodivergent individuals.

6. Respect Stimming and Coping Mechanisms

Stimming behaviors like rocking, tapping, or fidgeting help neurodivergent people regulate emotions and focus. These behaviors should not be judged or discouraged.

Allow people to stim without judgment—it’s a natural self-regulation method.
Avoid shaming neurodivergent individuals for behaviors that help them manage stress or concentration.

7. Advocate for Inclusion and Accommodations

Workplaces and schools are often structured to accommodate neurotypical individuals, making it difficult for neurodivergent people to thrive. Advocacy for reasonable accommodations can make a significant difference.

Support accommodations that help neurodivergent individuals succeed in workplaces and educational settings.
Encourage companies and institutions to hire and support neurodivergent talent.
Believe neurodivergent individuals when they request accommodations; it’s about fairness, not special treatment.

8. Listen to Neurodivergent Voices

Neurodivergent individuals often have valuable insights about the world, yet their perspectives are frequently dismissed or ignored. Actively listening and amplifying their voices can lead to meaningful change.

Follow and support neurodivergent creators, writers, and activists.
Ask neurodivergent individuals how they would like to be supported instead of making assumptions.
Be open to feedback, as well-intended actions might not always be helpful.

9. Don't Expect Neurodivergent People to Educate You for Free

Neurodivergent people often have deep knowledge in their areas of interest. However, it’s unfair to expect them to provide free labor or constant explanations about their experiences.

Educate yourself through books, articles, and firsthand accounts instead of relying on neurodivergent individuals to explain everything.
If you ask questions, do so with mindfulness and a willingness to learn.

10. Challenge Systems That Exclude Neurodivergent People

Many systems in society are designed to benefit neurotypical individuals, often at the expense of neurodivergent people. Challenging these structures is key to creating a more inclusive world.

Call out ableism in hiring, education, and social spaces.
Advocate for inclusive policies such as flexible work arrangements and accessible learning environments.
Support businesses and organizations that prioritize neurodivergent inclusion.

Final Thoughts

The first step toward inclusion is recognizing that diversity in thought, behavior, and personality is valuable. A society where everyone is expected to conform to the same norms is neither innovative nor sustainable. By embracing and supporting neurodivergent individuals, neurotypicals contribute to a more inclusive, compassionate world for all.